My phone got wet and my pants got wet
Last night I was told by a friend that I know OF shit, but not ABOUT shit. This was shocking because I feel I possess a great deal of expertise in the feild of feces and feces-related study. I then attempted to discuss lyrics to Morrissey's "I have forgiven Jesus". The discussion was abruptly halted when the other party said that Morrissey and Robbie Williams are the same man. This point is not arguable, as this would be like saying Kurt Cobain was exactly the same as Scott Stapp.
I dropped my phone in the sink and now the sink doesn't work.
Today I am going to drink so much tea that I will have to go to the bathroom a lot.