Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Puppy coma

I just had a great idea. It's goddamn brilliant.

What if there was a company who provided "Coma Services" for your family pets? That would be awesome. And convenient! Say you wanna take a trip to visit your estranged former European lover, but Helmut Von Sczoolzefub doesn't allow pets? Well, you take yer yappy puppy on down to the local coma emporium, put him to sleep for the desired duration, and there he his, alive and well for your return.

And holy shit... this could be even better for those annoying old people you're are legally obligated to look after. Don't wanna take ancient Uncle Fred to Hawaii? Well sir, you just pack the old bastard up and take him on down to the coma place. And if the lonely, widowed asshole dies? They give you the next coma free.

Christ deserves a donkey-punch

It's been a while. I've missed you, oh blog thing. I want to whisper in your ear, sweet nothings and sweet somethings and so forth. So many new things to hate.

It's been a weird summer. I have been feeling shameful about my lack of motivation / warrior-like intake of beer over the past many months. And then there was the time I left the Kraft Dinner in the fridge for two months. That was three days ago. I think I was just interested in the results. You know, science and the like. And fuck you, I'm not calling it 'macaroni and cheese', it's Kraft Dinner you uppity shits.

I've been obsessed with this person I came across on the Internet. Can you believe that it is non-porn related? Although--after reading the essays and letters on her website--Acharya S is the sexiest woman alive.

"Acharya S is an archaeologist, historian, mythologist and linguist educated in Classics, Greek Civilization, at Franklin and Marshall College. She is also a member of the prestigious American School of Classical Studies at Athens, Greece. She speaks, reads and/or writes English, Greek, French, Spanish, Italian, German, Portuguese, the Biblical languages Koine Greek and Hebrew. Known for her expertise in comparative mythology and religion, Acharya has appeared on numerous radio programs and is the author of the controversial and bestselling "The Christ Conspiracy: The Greatest Story Ever Sold" and the much-anticipated "Suns of God: Krishna, Buddha and Christ Unveiled." --

I have never read such lucid words married with vicious malcontent for the lies and retardednicity of Christianity as those found on her site. I'm gonna see if I can order her book, "The Christ Conspiracy: The Greatest Story Ever Sold". Check out her site here.

Fucking Christians.